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Point-Counterpoint: Best Sports Couple

first_imgMcGrathI have to say, Cupid is a pretty awful judge of compatibility. I mean, this is the cherub who brought you Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra, Andre “Bad Moon” Rison and Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez, the Benson’s, Mark Wohlers and ball four … the list goes on. Even when the fat, naked archer got it right, it was obviously a mistake … I mean, he was probably hungry.Without question, the best sports couple is Takeru Kobayashi and the hot dog. Do you know what kind of rock-solid foundation of love it would take for you to sit there and swallow 79,000 wieners and still come back with enough lust to want to gobble down 50 at each sitting? That’s dedication. And it’s reciprocal, too. The frankfurters, despite being notoriously cardiac unfriendly, haven’t had a bit of ill effect on Kobayashi to this point, as he is skinner than Manute Bol after a six-month fast. Take one look at the 420-pound Eric “Bad Lands” — that must mean the unfortunate earth that is underneath him at any given point in time — Booker and his physique fit for an oversized bean bag chair, and it is clear that the tube steak is showing the K-man some love.”Take”-out also has become a millionaire for his unique talent for guzzling down wieners like Lil’ Kim does … well, wieners. Meanwhile, Nathan’s hot dogs are still more popular than those stupid floppy-discs of beef served at most fast-food eateries, and dominate the attention of the American public on the most patriotic of days, the Fourth of July. Again, Cupid must’ve been aiming for Mary Kate Olson when he hit the gluttonous Kobayashi, but regardless he created a match made in Roman myth. Point: Hot dogs and Kobayashi. 2.14 PCP — PoppyPoppyThe best couple in the sports world should be one in which each side brings the best out in each other, and what better place to do that than the playing field?With that said, any athlete involving singer Toni Braxton is disqualified. Remember when she tore the Dallas Mavericks franchise apart in the mid-1990s by messing around with Jason Kidd, Jim Jackson and Jamal Mashburn?Anyway, the best couple in sports is none other than Ivan Rodriguez and Ugueth Urbina. Not to imply or disrespect anything homosexual, but seriously, the catcher-pitcher duo in baseball is one that requires a strong relationship, and Pudge and Ugi had just that.In 2003, Rodriguez and Urbina hooked up on the unlikeliest of teams, the Florida Marlins, and made history. Pudge had signed a one-year contract with the Marlins in hopes of reviving his career, and Ugi came on board mid-season as Florida found itself in the wildcard race. The battery connection posted solid seasons but made their magic in the postseason.As Rodriguez and Urbina opened the playoffs, they found their cupid in Steve Bartman, who in the single swift of one hand helped the couple on their way to the World Series, and it was there they showed everyone their true affection for one another.As Urbina recorded two saves against the Yankees, he and Rodriguez celebrated the Marlins’ victories with a smooch on the mound. It caused a stir in the sports world, but really it’s just an extension of the butt-smack.Rodriguez and Urbina even had a honeymoon of sorts, jumping ship to the lowly Tigers the next year. Furthermore, the couple had their divorce this past season as Detroit traded Urbina to Philadelphia.Nevertheless, Rodriguez and Urbina are the Best. Sports. Couple. Ever.last_img read more

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